Invasion Of The Oneshots
by The Demon Writer Of Fleet St
Summary: A collection of Invader Zim oneshots that I will update frequently. Have any you'd like me to write? Send your ideas via review! These oneshots can vary from GIR madness to maybe even some ZaDR. It all depends on me and you! R
1. It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

**Okay, so welcome to my Invader Zim oneshot collaboration! I have recently become obsessed with the show after re-discovering it, and have not been able to resist the stream of fanfiction ideas running through my head. I will put them all in this story, and sometimes they will be continued. If anyone of you guys has an idea you'd like me to write, by all means, post it in a review! I'd be honored to write it.**

**This particular oneshot is basically a saturday at the base...A stormy saturday With Zim and GIR madness...Oh, and a power outage... I may continue this one!**

The rain and wind pounding against the windows of the base that night was relentless. The haunting, howling gusts blew debris into the small cul-de-sac; branches were slamming into mailboxes and a trash can flew with a sharp, metal clang into the men's restroom door of the base. It was a storm Zim had never experienced on Earth before, but he would not let it get the best of him.

"GIR! Where are you hiding?" He called, entering the kitchen from the lab. The toilet swooshed slightly as he stepped onto the floor. His light red eyes glowed eerily in the inky night, lightning flashing across his narrowed gaze every so often. Zim sighed exasperatedly, arms folded as he traveled into the living room. "GIR! Come out this instant!" He shouted angrily, eyes glancing up at the monkey painting above the pale pink couch. Lightning lit up its face ominously as Zim shuddered, turning away.

"Quit playing around, GIR! If you don't answer your master right now, so help me-" The window near the door shattered, glass scattering across the floor along with the metal trash can. Zim gave a short yell, jumping backwards atop the couch as the can skidded through the air right past his face, smacking into the opposite wall. He panted, staring from the can to the window and back again. The storm continued raging outside, but it didn't take long for Zim's security system to take effect.

"SECURITY BREACH." The mechanical voice sounded through the home. Zim watched in amusement as heavy metal slats clanked down the windows and door, keeping anything from coming in or getting out. He heard them lock tightly in place as two robotic arms came down from the ceiling to pick up the glass and the trash can.

"Impressive, if I do say so myself. Could've happened faster, but that's why there's always room for improvement," Zim said smugly, a smirk upon his green face, darker in the dimly lighted house. "Now, back to business…GIR!" He shouted, expression morphing back into anger. His grim gaze turned around when he heard the familiar, small clanking footfalls of his robot slave. Zim stared at him, eyes narrowed, arms folded.

"GIR… Where have you been?" He asked flatly, patience gone as it typically was when talking with the 'advanced' robot. He noticed a package of graham crackers in GIR's fist and raised an eyebrow.

"Want a smore?" He asked, mouth open in a wide grin as he stared at his annoyed master. Zim merely sighed again, the storm continuing, softer beyond the metal slats.

"You've been making smores this entire time?" He asked, making sure his question was clear.

"Yeah huh," GIR nodded, antenna bobbing back and forth. "I saw you come out of the lab and I hid in the fridge. I wanted to play hide and seek, but you looked mad. I hid-ed anyway next to the cheese and ketchup, 'cause I thought you wouldn't find me. But then I heard a big crash and I couldn't get out of the fridge. I thought-ed that you were breaking stuff again like the last time I was missin', but I couldn't see past the cheese. But then I got-ed the fridge open and found these crackers!" His explanation finally ended as Zim stared at the robot blankly.

"You got…stuck in the fridge?" Zim asked, not amused. GIR smiled wider and nodded furiously before stuffing a cracker in his mouth. Zim sighed, shaking his head, eyes closing to maintain his anger.

"Wanna make smores with me!?" GIR screamed as Zim cringed.

"No, GIR. I must make sure the base is safe from this tempest. Follow me in case I need an extra hand." He marched toward the front door as GIR followed with a salute, eyes a dim red. They faded back to blue when he spotted the metal slats across the door and windows.

"Oh, what's that?" GIR pointed at them; Zim answered simply.

"The upgraded security system. After the Dib-Worm snuck in a few days ago, I made sure to fix it so nothing would come in again!" He smiled triumphantly before saying, "Computer, release the slats upon the door." GIR gasped in awe, moving to touch the metal. Zim grabbed his arm, holding him back like a misbehaving child. The rain and wind was louder against the door once the slats relinquished their hold upon it. Zim let go of GIR's arm as he cheered, reaching for the doorknob.

"GIR, what are you doing!?" Zim shouted, but was too late to stop him from opening the door. The wind smacked against him like a wall, slamming him into the floor a few yards away. Zim groaned and sat up, gasping. "GIR!" He shouted, staring out the open door. "GIR, get inside right now! This tempest shows no mercy!" Rain fell in sheets onto the base's entryway as Zim shrieked. "You're even letting water in to the house, GIR! Come in before _I_ show no mercy and shut the door!" He fought against the wind, hands in front of his face. He heard a familiar cackling squeal as GIR slammed into him. Zim fell back against the floor, the wind once again knocked out of him.

"I got me a marshmallow roasting stick!" He shouted, grin widening as Zim shoved him away, rolling his tired eyes. He moved to the door, but gasped shortly after.

"GIR, get down!" He shouted, reaching behind him with a hand to force the robot to the floor. An uprooted flamingo lawn ornament flew through the open front door, grazing one of Zim's antennae. The wind inside the house spun it around before thrusting the flamingo, end first, into the complex wires of the base's ceiling.

"SECURITY BRE-" The door slammed shut as the metal slats began their job of sealing off the door. They made it just past the doorknob before creaking to a halt as sparks rained down from the flamingo. Zim watched it with horror-struck eyes, GIR's face squirming out from under Zim's hand that had held him down. GIR stared at the sparks like it was the fourth of July. Zim jumped up, nearly hyperventilating.

"No…" He whispered before the ceiling began to sizzle. "NO!" His shout echoed through the base, GIR mimicking him out of joy as every light went out. Their shouts continued unto Zim finally stopped, pounding against the wall with angry grunts escaping his throat. He yanked the flamingo out of the ceiling and tossed it aside; the ceiling fizzled a bit more, but nothing else happened. All the power inside the base was out.

GIR finally stopped his squeals, plopping on the couch beside a fuming Zim. He held the stick he had found in the debris outside to Zim before shouting, "Wanna make smores!?"


	2. The Lilac Scented Candle Chapter 1 Cont

"Oh crap…This was not how I wanted my Saturday to end…" He stared around the room, small beads of sweat rolling down his forehead that he knew no one would be able to see. It was pitch black; he was lucky to have packed an essential kit with him. His well-trained ears could hear the obvious amount of power surging around him, trying to break free and shine light onto everything again, but no such thing would happen without help. He quickly pulled out a heavy metal flashlight and slowly, tentatively, clicked the button down. He squinted against the beam, covering his face momentarily. After adjusting to the now-illuminated lab, his mind ticked into gear.

His thoughts were racing over so many topics, so many problems, and so many solutions. He thought about how perfect this situation was, and how awful it was as well. His shoes clicked nearly silently against the lab floor as he tried to control his quick breathing. The flashlight was shaking in his fist, his free hand pushing up his glasses which were slipping on sweat, forcing the small metal frame down his nose. He gulped and approached what used to be the glowing computer screens.

"Okay…Now, to turn the power back on," Dib muttered under his breath out of fear that someone else was down in the lab with him. He had not spotted his nemesis or that little robot that followed him around, but he would make sure not to attract any more attention to himself than the flashlight. His fingers flexed intuitively, reaching for the many keys and knobs, but Dib had no idea what to do. "Even with the power on, I'm not sure if I would know how to go about stealing alien information from Zim…" He mumbled angrily under his breath before cursing. "Oh well…We've gotta wing this one, Dib," He took on his typical habit of talking to himself as he settled uncomfortably in one of the chairs. "So, here goes nothing!"

"Go fish!!" GIR squealed as Zim stared icily at him. His arms were folded and his eyes were small slits across his eerily illuminated face; he had been lucky that GIR had bought a handful of scented candles for who knows what reason a while back. With no access to the base without power, Zim was stuck upstairs without electricity until the storm was over. He had thought harder about it, but soon realized that it wasn't entirely the lawn ornament's fault…The flamingo had just been the breaking point for the base's energy. It had been surging throughout the storm before the flamingo even arrived, much to Zim's dismay. The lights had been going from blinding to dim before the power went out, and now he could hear the lights trying to surge forth but no such thing would happen. 'Bested by the tempest…' Zim had said with such a loathing to his voice that even GIR had remained silent for a moment…Well, more like 3 seconds.

"GO FISH!" GIR shouted again at Zim. He sighed, slowly shaking his head.

"GIR…We're playing with dominoes…" He stated flatly, gesturing to the tiles that were intricately set up all around them in swirls and other patterns. He had let GIR do the layout and was merely waiting for him to knock one of them over. Zim waited, but GIR was apparently set on some foolish Earth card game. At least dominoes had some sort of destruction to it.

"I wanna play with FISHES!" GIR complained loudly as Zim's left eye twitched. He was not sure how much more of his idiotic robot he could take. In every day situations, he could simply escape to his lab and GIR would have the human slave box to watch all day…With that _monkey_ occupying his every thought. Zim preferred it that way…But with no way to actually get down to the base to turn on the rest of the power, he was stuck with GIR.

"We don't have any fish, GIR…" Zim said, trying to restrain his voice. It was tense and spoken through clenched teeth. He suddenly longed for that Scary Monkey Show to be on more than anything else...

"Do we have biscuits!?" GIR changed the subject rapidly, as was typical. Zim's gloved hands clenched tighter together atop his crossed legs, staring blankly at the opposite wall beyond his robot.

"No, GIR. We have no power. Therefore, we cannot cook anything. We are stuck playing with dominoes." He explained, raising an eyebrow as GIR stuffed a domino in his mouth. "What are you doing, GIR?" He asked, but with no curiosity to his voice, knowing he wouldn't ever understand what went on in the robot's mind.

"It don't taste like BISCUITS!" GIR shouted, his small metal foot gently knocking into a domino as it slammed into another, creating the destructive chain. Zim watched this with some amusement, ignoring GIR for a small moment. His light red eyes opened wide as he stood, dominoes falling and curling around his feet.

"The chain…" The brief words escaped his lips as a devious smile curled across his face. "GIR, stay here! I am going down into the lab to fix this power difficulty once and for all!" Zim hurriedly scooped up one of the many lighted glass orbs that happened to smell like lilac. He cringed at the smell, but hurried down the hall nonetheless as GIR remained preoccupied with the falling and twirling dominoes, humming some sort of demented tune.

"If I can accurately pinpoint when the power surges happen…" Dib was muttering to himself again, eyes closed, head propped upon his hands. He listened intensely to the surges, waiting with bated breath. His flashlight was on the desk beside him, shining light onto the ceiling, being of no use to Dib at that current moment.

"I may be able to use them to regain access to the base. The chains of the surges are the key…" Zim said, triumph littering his tone of voice as he stepped onward, knowing timing would be crucial.

"And once I have access to the power surges…" Dib heard the 'vrum' of the electricity trying to break free and sat up, hand poised over a button.

"The power shall pulse and thrive through my base like it once did!" Zim cackled, footsteps moving faster as he approached one of the base's many entrances. He paused, ready to leap down it. He held the candle close as to not damage the secret entrance walls, but nearly gagged at the floral smell. He shuddered and took the entrance nonetheless, hearing the electricity pulse around him in the chute.

"Dammit!" Dib cursed louder this time, pounding against the button. "I have the worst timing in the world…" He had missed the power surge for the 5th time as he slumped back into the lab chair, head resting against the back of it. His mind was ticking away once again, contemplating the consequences to his decision. "If I end up hitting the button in time with the power surge, then the electricity in the base will come back on. Which is cool, ya know? 'Cause then I can explore the lab and steal Zim's ideas and whatnot," Dib put a finger to his chin, still talking to himself. "But if the power does turn back on, then Zim will know it too if he's upstairs…And when I got here before the power went out, that's where he was…" He grunted, slamming his fist against the table in front of him with enough force to send his flashlight flying to the floor. Dib gasped as the beam shined in his eyes for a brief moment then went black.

"Great…just perfect…" He complained sarcastically, hands reaching blindly around on the floor for his flashlight. He finally grasped the freezing metal, clicking the button, but nothing happened. "It's broken? Broken!?" Dib couldn't stop a crazed laugh from escaping his throat. "Just wonderful! I'm stuck in an alien laboratory during a power outage with no light source whatsoever!" He sighed shakily, trying to quell the fear that was growing inside of him. He stood slowly, his hand clutching the flashlight as he leaned against the control panel. He shut his eyes momentarily, letting his sense of hearing probe through the darkness.

He soon realized, even through the obvious power surges, that he was not alone any longer. Dib's eyes snapped open from behind his glasses. He tried to stop his breath from quickening as he spotted a small glow from across the room, hearing deliberate, clicking footsteps approaching him. The small amount of light became more and more noticeable as Dib realized it was a candle.

Zim stared across the room, stopping dead in his tracks when his well-adapted eyes spotted Dib. He held tightly onto the candle, afraid he would drop the stinky thing anyway from all the emotions shocking his system. They were surging through him, just like the invisible electricity he could hear throughout the base.

Zim took in the frightened Earth child's face with a dark smirk, eyes narrowing out of pure hatred and triumph at the thought that Dib was here, in the base, completely defenseless. Anger flooded him as well when he realized that he, Zim, the great Irken invader, was defenseless as well, along with his secret base. He suddenly wondered how much stronger he was than puny Dib. The Earth boy's eyes were widening more and more with each passing second, each footfall, each power surge that passed ominously through the lab. Zim made sure to take each step with care, realizing how much it pleased him to see the fear spread through Dib's eyes.

"Z-Zim…?" He croaked out, voice cracking with fear as he tried to make the space between him and the alien larger.

"Hello, Dib…" Zim whispered, bridging the gap with ease, and, with one short power surge crackling around them, he blew out the lilac scented candle.

**Whoo hoo! Continued, by the request of my first (and so far only) reviewer! It took a much darker turn, eh? I decided to throw Dib in there too. What else does he have to do on a rainy Saturday except to spy on Zim? He somehow found his way into the lab. Lucky him! Or maybe not so lucky as the case may be…I'm thinking of leaving this one like this…total cliffhanger. But, if my reviewer (s) have any suggestions for me, I'd be willing to try it. This could go many ways, I think…Violence… ZaDR… Comedy… Or just leave it as is. Whatever works! More Oneshots to come with time! Thank you all!**


	3. A Rather Human Way Of Venting

"Dib-Worm, you will sit before the almighty Zim and deal with my presence for as long as I can stand to communicate with you and your big head, even when I feel I am going to go insane from how hugely annoying it and you are!"

It was the run-on sentence he had never expected to hear, especially from his sworn enemy. Dib's eyes jerked up from his molding skool lunch food, glasses nearly falling from his face. One eye was narrowed, the other wide as can be as he noticeably stiffened, staring across the table at the green skinned boy. Dib felt that the space between the two was most certainly not enough as he tried to scoot back. Zim's eyes were set on Dib's, seemingly holding him there as the minutes ticked on. He finally found a response for the alien.

"W-what!?" he choked out, wishing he had picked up a dictionary or an extra set of vocal cords as his voice cracked unpleasantly. He hoped Zim wouldn't notice, as he seemed set on something Dib couldn't comprehend. Sure enough, the alien was still staring intently at him, arms crossed. Dib felt like a creature under a microscope and internally shuddered; he had wanted to make Zim feel that way since day one. How quickly the tables turned…

"You will sit, eat your disgusting worm-baby food, and listen to me," Zim's voice was hushed, almost coming out in a hiss as Dib was tempted to flee the cafeteria right then. His curiosity got the best of him as it typically did, so he stayed glued to his seat, even nodding slightly. "Now, I have been trapped for the weekend, working in my _amazingly _secret and powerful base as I typically am, all alone, right?" Zim phrased this as a question as Dib moved his head in a sort of circular motion. "Wrong!" His fist came down on the table, making Dib's tray of food jump along with the boy himself. "I was stuck, trying to work on an amazing plan to destroy-or, more or less embarrass you- and oh, how I was interrupted! Over, and over, and _over again_ by that _incompetent _robot!" Dib wondered if Zim's eyes could grow into smaller slits as he continued his story. He half smiled to himself as he noticed that the alien talked with his gloved hands. They were flailing about as Dib suppressed a snicker.

"And then, oh only then, when I was this close to completing the ray," He held his fingers about a centimeter apart from each other to, once again, demonstrate with his hands the frustration he was feeling, "Did he come flying down into the lab and _crash_ into the highly volatile machines that I needed to complete my doom ray! That _stupid_, impossible, horrible-" The stream of words continued without remorse as Dib merely watched and listened, frightened gaze slowly turning amused. He didn't look away from Zim's livid face, even when the bell rang. Zim heaved a long, heavy sigh before standing with a clearing of his throat.

"Well, I must depart to class Dib-Worm, as should you." It was not as long of an ending sentence as Dib had expected. He inwardly cringed at the thought that he was expecting, and even hoping, for Zim to amuse him. He stood also, jumping up.

"W-wait, Zim!" He called, reaching to put a hand on his shoulder, but slapped himself across the face before going through with it. _'Too much is too much, Dib…' _He thought as he saw the alien turn with an apathetic look on his face.

"What could you possibly want of me, the amazing ZIM!?" He shouted, the cafeteria nearly empty. Dib paused, then took a deep breath and a curious, business-like look on his face.

"Did we just have…a conversation?" He questioned, unable to keep his amused expression at bay. Zim stared at him with a glare that melted into horror, but then back into loathing.

"No. This never happened, Dib-Worm," He stated simply, turning his back to the boy. He glanced over his shoulder back at Dib who returned his glare with a slightly hopeful look. "But, if we must call it something, it would be a vent, if you will…Be gone with you, disgusting big-headed Earth boy." And with that Zim was gone into the hallway, leaving Dib with a dumbstruck smile across his face and one thought in his mind.

"_Well…He's more human than I thought…"_

**Alright, I may redo this and make it a bit longer, but I was too tired to work too hard on it. I just wish for some more reviews and ideas! Send 'em in, anyone! You gotta know that even Zim has stuff to vent about. **


	4. Not Your Ideal Sleepover

"WHOO HOO!"

"NO!"

Those were the two phrases echoing and bouncing off the walls of the classroom that day. The cheers of joy most definitely drowned out the cries of horror, but the pain assuredly outlasted the pleasure. All eyes turned to the one student in the room who was showing some sort of protest to the situation, standing atop his desk.

"What's your problem now, Zim?" A bored Dib asked, head propped up on his elbow as he glanced down the row of desks. "It's called a lockdown. We're stuck in here until the police say it's all right to go outside. Does 'lockdown' have some sort of double-meaning on your planet?" He was in no way amused; he would've replied with the same outburst had Zim not beat him to it. Dib hated the idea of being trapped in a room for hours with his classmates and no form of solace or freedom. Zim's furious and narrowed expression flashed to his enemy's face.

"I don't know what you mean by my planet, Dib-Worm," He began, eyes unsurely shifting from Dib to the other students who were slowly recouping into different groups to talk and chat about the wasted afternoon, "but a lockdown does not sound very pleasant to tell you the truth. I'm forced to be in here with you stinking meat-wads all the time…Now the almighty ZIM doesn't even get the benefits of recess and lunch! Curse you, Earth school system!" He shouted at the ceiling, fists shaking in the air. Dib rolled his eyes, shuddering as Ms. Bitters hissed past him.

"Deal with it, Zim. We could be here all day, and maybe even longer, knowing this town's police department," She said icily, staring out at the rest of the class, "Now, students, I will be in the teacher's lounge, and you will stay here and suffer. If we are stuck here overnight, I will drop off blankets for you all, and you may use your textbooks as pillows." She slithered through the door as a rather familiar sequence played out again.

"WHOO HOO!"

"NO!!"

The only difference was that two voices were shouting in obvious horror: Dib and, once again, Zim. The green child was now curled into a ball on the floor, nearly hyperventilating. Dib approached him, tilting his head, but keeping his expression apathetic.

"What's wrong with you? Can't take a night in school?" he asked, but Dib himself knew that he couldn't take it either, especially with Zim around. He wouldn't be able to sleep… Zim recovered momentarily to shoot an accusatory look at Dib.

"Of course not, worm-baby! The great and powerful ZIM would never allow himself to be bested by a simple… what would you call this?" He asked, pausing, sifting through his collection of human words.

"A…sleepover?"

"YES! The all-powerful ZIM will never be bested by your stupid human concept of 'sleeping over'! I shall outlast this horrific experience, even with your horrible smelly head in close proximity to where I shall be sleeping! But, rest assured, I will force you to sleep across the room! No Dib-Worm will get his drooly drool all over Zim while he sleeps!" He shouted, face melting into a scowl afterward. Dib merely shook his head.

"There's no way I would be caught dead sleeping near _you_! And we probably won't even be here that long…You'll see. Skool will be back to normal in an hour, maybe two!" Dib sat down a good three feet away from Zim who shifted uncomfortably away to make it an even four feet.

"Humph… You better be right, filthy human… I do not tolerate nonsense, especially from you, you nonsense-spouting… Nonsenser!" Zim countered with his typical stream of insults. Dib ignored him, as was also routine. The two sat in silence for a few moments, cooling down. They sighed in unison as Zim glanced suspiciously at Dib. The two exchanged awkward, confused glances before staring back at the dingy skool floor.

"How long has it been…?" Dib whispered hoarsely, flopped over on the ground, staring up at the ceiling. The blinds had been drawn when the lockdown began, and the students were instructed to not look out them. Dib was sure the sun had set hours ago. He was lucky to have brought a lunch from home to eat when he was hungry, not daring to touch the frozen cafeteria food (none of the cooks had been willing to do anything since the lockdown began. Many had even gone home.). His glazed over eyes looked at the alien beside him who had the same blank, pitiful expression on his face.

"Zim has no idea… Too long to keep track anymore." He mumbled back, rubbing his contact-disguised eyes. He groaned, crumpling into a ball as Dib sat up, staring down at the pathetic alien on the floor.

"Are you alright?" He asked, wondering why this wave of concern had rushed over him. He quickly backtracked. "I thought you weren't going to let this lockdown beat you." Zim sat bolt upright, head nearly smacking into Dib's. The two had subconsciously scooted much closer to each other through the hours of doing nothing.

"NO! ZIM is perfect! He is fully functional and healthy and prepared to take over this weak and defenseless planet! Once he can get out of this wretched classroom…" He flopped back over, seemingly strong. Dib smirked, thinking he looked more defeated than anything.

"If you say so…" He muttered as the door creaked open. Ms. Bitters swooped in with dark bundles under her arms as Dib's eyes widened. He was tempted to nudge Zim in the side to show him the news but figured he would be screaming in disgust soon.

"One blanket per hopeless child. There are extra books at the back of the class. Don't forget to get your homework done since you won't be going home tonight…" She was gone in a mere moment as children slowly retrieved blankets for themselves and friends, most wearing smiles.

"No…" Zim breathed, face flat down in the floor, all angry enthusiasm out of his muffled voice. Dib stared at him in confusion. He slowly reached for a blanket, and, with a sudden change of heart, picked up two.

"You seem to have given up, Zim," Dib said matter-of-factly, no sneer etching his face. It was odd for him to see Zim in such a state. It almost scared him. He held the blanket out to the alien who stared at it with a raised eyebrow. He took it with a growl after a moment, falling back to the floor with the coarse fabric over his face.

"I will never give up, Dib-Worm. Remember that." Zim whispered, and Dib wondered if sleep was littering his voice. He knelt down closer, confused.

"Do you actually sleep, Zim?" He asked, provoking questions from the alien to clarify what he was hearing.

"Mmmhmm…" Zim grunted in a sort of grumpy approval. Dib smirked, moving away from Zim to take his own little sleeping space of the classroom up. "But don't you dare try anything funny, you stupid, pathetic, smelly, big-headed, disgusting, meat-loving, nerdy, ugly…" The words trailed on and on as Dib smiled in a drunken, sleepy stupor. He finally heard Zim's insults quiet down and turn into quiet breaths.

"I promise, Zim." He replied, listening to the somehow remarkable sounds before nodding off also, hoping he wouldn't snore or drool all over his homework he was using as a pillow.

"Dib-Worm?" Zim's voice spoke softly in the darkness, strained and tense. Dib's consciousness slowly made its way to the living, breathing surface with distain. He had been having such a wonderful dream about meeting famous ghosts…

"Yes, Benjamin Franklin…?" Apparently his mind wasn't all there. A short shaking jolt brought him back to life as he stuttered awake, glasses nearly falling from his face. Dib coughed slightly, realizing he drooled on his book from the cold layer of saliva on his cheek. He couldn't see anything, however, realizing it was still nighttime. He squinted in the darkness, wondering who had shaken him.

"You promised you wouldn't try anything _funny_." The hissing voice was full of venom as Dib's eyes widened out of confusion. He sat up with another jolt, realizing his mistake.

He had long ago left his book lying across the room, clean and not crumpled. The thing he had left his drool all over was _Zim_. Dib's eyes widened even more as he saw the alien's glowing red irises narrowed immensely up at him, arms folded across his chest. Dib didn't let his mind think long about when exactly Zim took off his disguise. He was too preoccupied with when he would be running for his life from some form of alien technology.

"I-I…" Dib was at a loss for words, mouth open and a shell-shocked look on his face. Zim said nothing, still lying on the floor, still as a statue. His eyes didn't loosen up.

"Get over there…" He pointed a sharp, gloved finger across the room. Dib could only imagine Zim's voice if he could scream and yell without a fear of waking others up. Dib nodded furiously without another word, quickly stealing his blanket, which, as he realized with a shudder, had been nearly fused and entangled with Zim's own blanket. The pink spread across his face without remorse as he fell against the school floor, trying to breathe easily again. His eyes glanced across the room to where Zim was who was still glaring at him. Dib could only imagine what sort of death would await him in the morning when Zim could actually kill him.

He rolled over without another pause, hoping Zim wouldn't be staring at him all night. He heard, after a few moments, a small shuffling of fabric, then silence. He prayed that this meant Zim was trying to sleep, even after the horrific experience Dib hoped would never be mentioned again. The silence began to get the best of the boy as his mind drifted, trying to sink back into its unconscious sheets. The last thought he had was one Dib would regret for the rest of his life…

_"I never knew an alien could be such a great pillow…"_

**Okay, couldn't resist! I just remember having a lockdown at my own school a while back (they would never allow us to stay overnight, though. But that would've totally ruin the fanfic if I had stayed within the lines of common sense!), and, naturally, I thought, "Ha…Zim would hate this…" So, this was born! Thank you, reviewers! More to come eventually! **


	5. Strangulation Is Better Than Shopping

Dib knew that cold laugh from anywhere. His eyes jolted up from his homework and gazed down at the lawn below, spotting his enemy, wondering why he was here. He gasped, jumping up from his bed and groaned, realizing he was merely lounging around in flying saucer-clad boxer shorts. He fumbled to find his pants and his coat, grumbling curses as he jumped around on one foot. He ran downstairs, pulling on his trench coat the entire way.

"No!" He yelled, leaping toward the door that was about to be opened by his father. Dib was momentarily shocked by the fact that his actual father was answering it… He was surprised to see his face in general. Still, it didn't change the facts that Dib _really_ didn't want his dad to open the door.

He smacked headfirst into the floor, momentum catching up to him from his haphazard run. He groaned in defeat as he heard the door creak open, scythe-like hair swinging slightly back and forth from the force of the face plant.

"Oh, erm…Hello, human-Earth scientist man. Is your filthy Dib-Worm around?"

"Oh, why yes! He's upstairs in his boxer shorts, studying useless things like ghosts and aliens. Can I get him for you, frighteningly ugly green child?" Professor Membrane asked in his typical cordial tone. Zim's eyes narrowed slightly, but figured this man was no threat.

"If it poses as no problem to your obviously busy schedule that's filled with idiotic things that are much _less_ amazing than me, ZIM!" He shouted as Dib wondered if the word 'please' was actually in the alien's vocabulary bank. Professor Membrane chortled, before waving a hand into the house.

"Of course it doesn't! Come in, come in," He turned around and spotted Dib still glued to the carpet in defeat. "Oh, there you are, son! Your skin-condition friend is here! He wants to have a play date with you." Dib sat bolt upright in shock, staring at Zim who matched his dumbstruck expression.

"DAD! Not only do you assume he's my friend, but you tell him I was upstairs in my _boxers_!?" Zim suppressed an obviously obnoxious laugh as Dib glared at him, standing. "I don't want to hang out with Zim! This is the alien I've been telling you all about, remember? Green skin? Abnormal hate of humans? Oh, and not even to mention his weird clothes…" Dib muttered, staring up at his father pleadingly. He only laughed as Zim even joined in.

"That's nice," Professor Membrane was running out of good adjectives to use when his son acted like a disappointment. He sighed happily, folding his arms across his chest before snapping his fingers. "Wait! He does have odd attire!"

"Hey, no I-"

"He does, doesn't he, Dad!?" Dib's eyes widened in hopeful wonder, a grin growing across his face.

"And his skin is rather green…"

"For the last time, it's a _skin condition_!"

"That's it, Dad! Piece it together! Zim's an alien!" Dib whispered before sending a triumphant smirk in Zim's direction; Dib hadn't ever realized before that the alien's green face could grow pale.

"And he's _so_ ugly!"

"Alright, the almighty ZIM does _not_ have to stand for this! I am departing from this horrible, worm-ridden home!" Zim shouted out of a frightened sort of annoyance. He jolted and gasped as Professor Membrane put a hand on his shoulder.

"Wait a moment, child…" The man whispered ominously. "You need to stay here with Dib for one second…" The tension in the air grew tenfold around Zim, nearly crushing him as he held back a whimper. He was too frozen to reach for the now materializing self-destruct button on his arm. Professor Membrane reached into his lab coat pocket as Zim cringed away, eyes shut, preparing for the worst. A short clack later, and a small protest from Dib, and Professor Membrane was chortling again.

"Just so you don't run anywhere while I go retrieve something else!" He said simply as Zim stared down at one handcuff attached to his ankle, and the other wrapped around Dib's. The two stared at the spot where Dib's father had been, confused and frightened.

"Is he gonna perform tests on me too? Why didn't he just stick you to the banister?" Dib whispered, gesturing to the stairway. Zim was nearly hyperventilating as Dib couldn't help but smile in triumph, even through his fearful curiosity.

"He didn't attach me to the staircase, Dib-Filth, because he must've known, as one of my last wishes, I wanted to do this!" Zim tackled Dib to the floor with a battle cry, pinning him to the ground, hands at his throat. Dib gave a short yell before beginning to struggle.

"G-get offa m-me…Zim!" He choked out, spluttering. Beeping could be heard nearby as Gaz walked past, Dib trying to call out to her. She glanced down at the two before shouting, "Get a room!"

Zim nearly got off of Dib at this thought, but was too consumed by rage. He had been caught. It was all over, and it was because of this stupid, filthy _human_. "If I am to perish today, Dib, you will die with me as well!" He hissed. Dib's face grew more and more pained as the struggling wore on, only freezing when the two heard a familiar chuckle behind them.

"Ah, you boys. I remember when I was your age…" Professor Membrane stared at the wall, lost in nostalgia. Zim stared at Dib's tortured face for a moment. He looked terribly pathetic. He couldn't help but smile sadistically at the thought of nearly defeating his idiotic, bigheaded nemesis… However, it didn't last long as he grumbled under his breath, standing and composing himself, thinking his final thoughts.

Dib rose after a moment, coughing and gently massaging his throat, wincing at a few tender parts where, he realized with horror, Zim's claws had left small red imprints. He watched his father turn to the two, hands holding something behind his back.

"Dib…Today's a big day for science…And for the both of you." He said in a deathly quiet whisper. Zim realized, without meaning to, that he was back to hyperventilating. Oxygen began to swarm through Dib again as his brain registered this as a great thing…

_'You're finally right, Dib. Someone believes you…'_

He beamed up at his father. "Thank you, Dad…You'll never know how much this means to me…" Dib whispered, cringing at every passing moment, wondering when Zim would tackle him to the floor again. Professor Membrane laughed.

"No problem, Son. About time I spent money on something that's important to _you_," He said, placing a comforting hand on Dib's shoulder. "Now, you must protect this with your life. It's the key to today's task." He slowly brought a piece of paper from behind his back, handing it to his son. Dib's eyes were wide with happiness, expecting something a bit better than a piece of paper…Maybe the guy from Mysterious Mysteries, or a stun gun to use on Zim…Or, better yet, a scalpel.

"W-what is it?" He asked, confused. Zim's eyes unsurely wavered to it as well, narrowing in matching bewilderment.

"The latest fashions that are flattering for green skin! Turns out that this skin condition has become an epidemic. I must help all the children out there with it, beginning with your best friend, Zim. It's not his fault that he was also cursed with horrible fashion sense…This list will fix all of your pain, Zim," Professor Membrane explained, hand now moving to rest on Zim's shoulder. "The two of you will go shopping today! Your green friend will be in charge of my wallet," He handed the folded leather to Zim who took it with a blind sort of interest.

"Now, you two have fun!" Professor Membrane herded them out the door, the two shocked boys nearly falling over onto the sidewalk.

"D-Dad, the ankle-cuffs! They're still on us!" Dib called back, voice growing more and more panicked.

"Oh, well, I don't want the two of you to get lost in the mall. The good old buddy system always works! Have fun on your shopping trip, boys!" He gave one more laugh before shutting the door.

Dib and Zim stared at the closed door, blinking once or twice. They looked at each other, back at the door, at the ankle-cuffs, then at each other again.

"DAD!! OPEN THE DOOR, PLEASE!"

"FILTHY HUMAN FATHER! PLEASE! I THINK I'D RATHER BE DEAD THAN GO SHOPPING WITH YOUR DISGUSTING, BIGHEADED SON! SAVE ME!"

**All right, now this one I will for sure be continuing…Madness in the mall…xD I'm going to split it in two parts like the first two chapters. Ha. I love this madness. Can you imagine? Send me ideas of Dib and Zim shopping! What would they do, stuck together!? Such good times…R&R, my faithful reviewers! **

**I think I've been averaging one oneshot a day…Pretty good…That also just proves it's summer…xD **

**Invader Oki Out!**


	6. 50 Sentence Challenge

**Okay, I couldn't help but take a break from oneshots for a moment whilst I formulate the plot for the mall madness.**** I read Swing-21's story, Droplets, where she was given a challenge I couldn't bear to pass up. So, here's the challenge: 50 Invader Zim sentences that explain a situation and could be transformed into a oneshot itself with just a few words. Okay, I must say that I did not count the spoken sentences… I sorta cheated on the challenge if you think the spoken sentences count. Anyways, here's the 50 Sentence Challenge I tried to fulfill to the best of my ability. Thank you, Swing-21 for letting me take the challenge as well! I am sure there are incorrect sentences with plenty of run-ons and whatnot, but I tried! I'm also unsure if I skipped any on my way to 50... Anyways, enjoy.**

**There are a wide variety here... Mostly Zim and Dib stuff, but only a few that would make you think ZaDR... I tried to keep it on a friend level, or an enemy level. Enough of my blabbing! . Go ahead and read away!**

1. Makeup

"Oh sure, everyone wears it, except me 'cause I'm uncool," Dib explained with an evil glint in his eyes, passing the neon eye shadow and bright red lipstick to Zim.

2. Sweeney

Despite his loathing of meat and pastries, Zim couldn't help but admire the barber and the baker singing about the people they would soon chop up and put into pies.

3. WAMU

"Give me my moneys, inferior Earth technology!" Zim shouted at the ATM, the line behind him growing ever longer as they stared at the green skinned boy who was beating angry fists atop the pin numbers.

4. Jack Sparrow

"That's it, GIR! This man is controlled by his headgear!" The realization hit Zim just as the kraken spit slammed into a certain captain who had been missing his hat.

5. Extra

"GIR made these extra. Take them, worm. Goodbye." Dib read the note out loud, voice muddled with confusion as he peeked under the tin foil to see a dozen deformed chocolate chip cookies.

6. Devil-Child

Zim ran from the mob of Catholics, realizing it must've been a bad thing to sizzle and scream after being doused in holy water.

7. Regret

Zim wondered what this emotion was, filling up his squeedily-spooch; he watched planet Earth slowly disintegrate beneath his ship's perch in the stars, wishing this pain would go away.

8. Fashion

"Nice…" Dib muttered, watching his green cohort try on sunglasses, finally finding a pair big enough to cover his eyes in a sickly yellow hue.

9. Photos

He stared at the pictures beside his feet, tears slowly slipping down his nose under the metal frame of his glasses, never realizing he could miss his enemy so much.

10. ZaDR?

"Jealous?" Dib smirked as GIR followed him, laughing wildly, leaving Zim alone and wondering which pissed him off more: the fact that Dib-Worm had stolen his robot slave, or that he would've rather had _Dib_ stay than have GIR around anymore period…

11. Mickey

"Take me to this cartoon empire!" Zim shouted as Dib raised an eyebrow at him, the two slowly walking onto the Disney cruise line.

12. Test

It would be the only thing the Dib-Worm would beat him at, Zim decided to admit, comparing both of their scores in the parenting health class.

13. Plead

"Don't go…" He fell to his knees, tears dotting the sidewalk, realizing he wasn't heard as the voot cruiser flew away.

14. Depressed

Dib had never wanted ice cream more than now as he saw the B+ in math on his report card, a heavy sigh escaping his throat as he searched for solace in Ben and Jerry's.

15. Stems

"I-I had gotten you some disgusting Earth weeds, but there was a bee on them, a-and I loathe bees and…" Zim blathered on, pulse beating fast, breath quickening as he held out the broken rose stems to the only human he had ever felt any sort of joy around: Dib.

16. Alone

It was like Dib was trapped back in the Nightmare World when he was sent to the Crazy House for Boys again, except he knew Zim wouldn't be saving him anytime soon.

17. Comfy

Zim growled, whispering Irken curses under his breath as he finally yanked the sleeping idiotic robot off of his head, wondering how comfortable he really was.

18. Hawk

Zim was inspired the day he heard the old Earth phrase, 'The early bird gets the worm,' and he vowed to fulfill it; too bad for him the Dib-Worm was out of town that weekend.

19. Wish

After extensive research, Zim made sure to note that dandelions, birthday candles, shooting stars, and coins thrown in fountains were not victorious when it came to getting what he wanted or wished.

20. Nightmare

Never again would the green alien eat GIR's food-like creations as he awoke with a jolt from the Irken dream world, making sure Dib wasn't still sleeping beside him…

21. Busted

As the security guards escorted the 21 year olds out of the casino, Zim threw Dib an evil glare, vowing to destroy every copy of Ocean's 11 that Dib could get his hands on so his big head would never formulate stupid ideas from it again.

22. Nature

"GIR! Fetch me a giant python in a box for Dib's birthday!" Zim shouted, never realizing before watching Animal Planet that such a large snake could eat men whole.

23. Ironic

The burning feeling wouldn't leave his chest as he stared down at Earth, having been destroyed by his and Zim's hands, Dib's moral side wishing he was down there still, dying courageously with the humans he betrayed.

24. Spanish

"UNO! Zim shall win this pathetic Earth game!" Dib stared across the table at the alien, stifling a chuckle as he counted 24 cards in Zim's claws, wondering if his enemy understood one word in Spanish.

25. Simple

Dib never knew Zim could be so easily persuaded to do something stupid as he watched the alien photocopying his ass, planning on using the images to hypnotize people worldwide.

26. Rules

"Shh!" Zim sank lower into his seat, eyes glaring at everyone around him, hating the human's foolish reading centers and their rules against his egotistical outbursts.

27. Helmet

The only thing that fascinated Zim about the sports season at Skool was that each and everyday, the Dib-Worm managed to put a helmet over his gargantuan head and it never got any smaller, even after getting crushed after a full day of football.

28. Seven-Eleven

"Only on this pitiful planet, huh?" Zim muttered under his breath, staring at the floor of the convenience store, his late night college run for coffee having been interrupted by a certain scythe-haired, big-headed boy behind the counter.

29. Tuxedo

"As my best man, you've got to wear something nice, alright? Hold still for just a few minutes!" Dib said angrily, watching an exasperated Zim fidgeting and fighting against the tailor who was having difficulties sizing the formal outfit for the small green alien.

30. Persuasion

"I cannot believe I trusted that horrible big-headed boy…GIR, send him some cavities so he can suffer too!" Zim groaned, holding his jaw that was much too swollen for him to say much more; he was never going to a foolish Earth dentist again, even if, according to Dib, he had the tools to conquer the world.

31. Pass

"S-so…Am I allowed to drive now?" Dib asked the instructor sheepishly, face red as he watched the man beside him in the passengers seat count up the 23 cones Dib had run over.

32. Compromise

"No, no, no! This home does not suit my needs at all. I must have a basement, a large kitchen, and GIR wants the second story all to himself!" Zim glared at the realtor, Dib tapping his foot impatiently, wondering where _he_ was going to sleep.

33. Truth or Dare

Zim now knew to never take part in Earth games as he suppressed a shudder, trying to ignore Gaz's amused expression as he bent in front of a bright red Dib, preparing to plant an unwanted kiss on the teenager's lips.

34. Tattoo

"Are you sure this will help me fit i- OW!" Dib's shouts filled the tattoo parlor as he gripped the chair's armrest with a tight fist, wondering if this really would get him friends, or if his sister was just getting back at him for eating her pizza…

35. Carnival

"I will defeat you to win this pointless, disgusting stuffed creature!" Zim yelled, but uncertainty filled him as he picked up the gun, the end of it dripping with water, hoping Dib's resistance to spray him would last long enough for Zim to fill up the balloon, grab the obnoxious stuffed dog, and run.

36. Summer

"Yes, it helps it grow…" Zim said with a raised eyebrow as his neighbors asked why he was watering his sidewalk.

37. Barbie

"You play with dolls…That is no sort of research…" Dib stifled his laughter as he watched Zim, standing frozen with two dolls in his hands, trying to explain himself to his enemy.

38. Piercing

Zim wondered if it was even possible to become cooler with his ear pierced, but he knew it wasn't very good to run a silver spike through his antenna as he sat in the chair, gulping and wondering if he should start running now.

39. Late

The blood slowly seeped to his feet as a horrible feeling swept through the alien, face crestfallen with regret and defeat. "I guess I was too late to destroy you myself, huh, Dib-Worm…?"

40. Alcohol

"You will be stop-ed, Zim-ah…" Dib whispered, slurring, Zim scoffing, an amused look on his face as he dragged the drunken boy to the base.

41. Thief

He froze as the light shone down on him, an 'oh crap' look across his face as Zim stood behind him, tapping his foot impatiently, Dib slowly turning and handing over the computer's hard drive before getting beaten to a pulp by the furious alien.

42. Air

His gasps were strangled, eyes shut in pain as Zim's claws dug deeper into Dib's neck, determined to finish off the human once and for all.

43. Guitar

Dib flushed as Zim's laughter surrounded him, embarrassed at having admitted his first talent as a young boy to his enemy: playing _air_ guitar.

44. Never

He wouldn't let Zim take over Earth, vowing that, even if he was the only person who ever believed in the alien, even if he had to sacrifice himself as was the case now, Dib would stop him.

45. Time

"You shall be stopped, alien!" Dib suppressed a deep chuckle as he watched his young son, similar in looks, point in accusation at Zim, surprised that the taller, more mature alien was still here on Earth, and, despite it all, actually believed Dib had traveled back in years and was the young boy threatening him now.

46. Snow

Zim shuddered against the icy breeze, watching GIR frolic through the snowy hillside, wishing that he could escape back to the Irken Empire just for the time being until winter was over…

47. Realization

"Yes, I am engaged! Since when do you care or have a problem with it?" Dib asked in frustration as Zim stared at him from across the room, face melting into a defeated sort of sadness, finally realizing that Dib wouldn't _always_ be there to stop him at every turn.

48. Believed

"He gotta tell ya something!" GIR said as he opened the base's door to a smug looking Dib and a man beside him who flashed a Paranormal Investigator badge; the man looked like nothing but trouble to Zim…

49. Saved

"This means nothing, Dib-Worm. I'll kill you next week…" Zim muttered under his breath, spider legs moving rapidly across the hills away from the angry mob chasing after the utterly embarrassed boy in the alien's clutches.

50. Finale

Dib panted, wondering why his happy ending hurt him so much more than he thought it would as he stared into Zim's dim eyes, a small smile across his green face as he fell to the ground, his Pak slowly winding down as the human boy stood alone, wondering what he had just done…


	7. Poofy Sweaters And Playgirl Magazines?

**Alright, I must start off with a sincere apology to you all. I re-read some of my old reviews, and everyone was excited for me to post the next chapter. That was in June. I am so sorry I have not posted for so long! I am ashamed, and Zim should destroy me for taking so long. **

**I'm here now, though, with the continuation of the 'Mall Madness' chapter! I'm stoked for my avid reviewers to continue loving this story as much as I do, and I thank you all for keeping up with reading it. I hope I haven't taken too long…**

**So, here we go! Mall Madness with Dib and Zim!**

There was nothing that could be done. Dib, even after spending so much time delving into science books, was unable to figure out a way to extract his leg from the ankle cuff… Short of biting his foot off. He had even contemplated that when Zim threatened to destroy him with a ruler, crayons, and floss. Dib did not want to know how it was possible to be killed with such everyday items, but he knew Zim would find a way if he really wanted to.

The sidewalk never seemed to end as the two walked, silence only being interrupted by the occasional car and Zim's disconnected mumblings.

"Filthy Earth-Parent, trapping me with this… oh, how his death will be… Maybe that pebble could free me…" Dib only half-listened to him, unable to hear half of it in the first place. However, whether it was a combination of the sun and their current situation, Dib couldn't help but grow irrationally angry at the alien.

"Hey, Zim… Shut up." He muttered, folding his arms and staring straight ahead. He continued walking at a quick pace, determined to reach the mall and get out as fast as possible. He knew his father would want to see Zim in a new outfit, so Dib knew the two had to buy at least one thing. He sighed, giving a shout of surprise a second later. Zim had stopped walking, and Dib has gone sailing to the ground.

"There will be no shutting of ups today, Dib-Filth. I do not wish to be here at all. Therefore, I will make you miserable as well!" Zim countered as Dib stood, brushing dirt off his coat, face annoyed beyond belief.

"You don't think I'm miserable enough simply being hand cuffed to you? You've gotta go and make things worse?!" He asked, voice rising as Zim ran ahead, tripping Dib back to the ground. He groaned exasperatedly, glasses skittering away from him.

"I believe we're ankle cuffed, not hand cuffed, Dibby," Zim explained calmly, picking up the glasses and holding them up to his face. "My Tallest, you're blind!" He exclaimed, blinking once or twice as Dib stood, squinting.

"Zim, give those back, right now!" He shouted, reaching for the alien who ran ahead again, tripping Dib.

"Not until you let me go back to my base and you go to your smelly home." He bargained, eyes narrowed, glasses propped atop his wig.

"We've gotta buy at least one thing or my dad will lose any hope he ever had in me!" Dib explained, hoping it didn't sound like he was pleading. Zim chuckled darkly as Dib stood once more, face defeated.

"All the better reason for me to go home!" Zim said simply, hands on his hips. Dib sighed, gaze on the alien, expression indifferent.

"Zim, you have my dad's money… You know that you could buy anything at the mall? Not just an outfit to make you less… Girly?" Dib explained, hoping this wouldn't screw him over. Zim's eye twitched, glancing down at his shirt.

"This is elite Irken clothing! You will say nothing of it!" He shouted, walking quickly ahead. Dib had to jog to keep up. He wondered when Zim gained the ability to power walk. "And… I could buy… Anything?" He mused, a small, devious smile on his green face.

"Basically, yeah. My dad's got too much money in the first place…" Dib muttered, praying he wouldn't trip over anything since he couldn't see. Zim 'hmm'd' and 'hah'd' for a moment or two before passing Dib's glasses back to the now grateful child.

"Fine. We shall shop until I have found a weapon that makes you fall to your knees and beg for mercy! That's right, Dib! We're shopping until you're dropping!" Zim gave an evil cackle as Dib groaned at the horrible pun the alien probably didn't even know he had used. He continued walking alongside his nemesis, however, ready to get this whole experience over with.

"This one, or this one?" A long pause. "Oh, come on, Dib-Filth! You're making me buy this ridiculous outfit not worthy to be worn by ZIM, so I must know which one compliments my skin tone better! This one, or this one!?" Zim shouted, holding two nearly identical sweatshirts in black and dark black against his chest, alternating them occasionally. Dib sighed after a moment, holding his head in his hand. It had been 4 hours. 4 hours of shopping, wandering, and staring sullenly at unwanted Krazy Taco meals in the food court.

"That one." Dib gestured vaguely, not pointing out which he actually picked. Zim glanced down at the two shirts, confused. He gave each a good look-over, unable to figure out which one Dib had actually chosen.

"Eh, which one…?" Zim asked after a moment of contemplation. Dib's eyes closed in annoyance.

"Does it honestly matter, Zim?" He asked, voice flat and apathetic. Zim had been so caught up by actually following the list that Dib had been given by Professor Membrane that the two hadn't even reached the gun store. Dib was thankful for this, knowing if Zim was to buy anything dangerous, it would be from there.

"Well, excuse me, Dib! You were the one who dragged me here, so you will be the unworthy individual to help me choose!" He shouted, gloved fingers rapping impatiently against his hip, his right hand clutching the two hangers. Dib listened to the mutterings of passersby nervously, hating how many chose to say, 'Their marriage must be on the rocks…'

"Fine! I like that one! Can we please get out of here?" Dib pointed at the dark black sweatshirt as Zim looked at it, back into contemplation.

"Hmm… I think I like the black one…" He concluded, dragging Dib toward the register. The alien swiftly paid for it, humming a dissonant tune as he took the bag. "For your trouble, Stink-Beast." He tossed a 50 dollar bill to the cashier before heading out, Dib nearly being dragged again with a shocked look on his face.

"Zim, how long have you been doing that?" He asked, eyes wide as he watched Zim struggling with the sweater, his head trying to come out the armhole.

"Doing what?" Zim answered, tone annoyed and muffled. He inhaled deeply once he had pulled the sweater over his head, smiling triumphantly at the hugely oversized piece of merchandise resting atop his pinkish shirt.

"Giving 50's to people for no reason! My dad's not entirely made of money, ya know…" Dib glared at the alien, his other question being 'And since when are you so nice?' Zim chuckled, shaking his head like Dib had just answered his own question.

"Ah, foolish Dib-Stink… I've passed out monies to every filthy worker in this abominable building that we've passed by. You're so ignorant to have not noticed." He explained, an air of superiority surrounding him. Dib's eyes widened.

"Why!? What could possibly motivate you to do something like that!?" He asked, mouth falling open in shock. Zim grinned slyly.

"We're shopping until you're dropping, remember? What better way to crush you than to make your stink-father hate you forever for spending all his Earth monies, hmm?" Zim's grin only widened when Dib's hopelessness crashed over his facial features.

"You suck, Zim…" He mumbled half-heartedly, unable to fight this plan. There was no way out of it.

"Heh, I know." The alien replied as the two headed toward the mall's exit, Zim nearly dragging Dib's shuffling self along.

"Oh my, don't you look dashing?" Professor Membrane gushed as Zim modeled his sweatshirt. "It positively brings out the best glow in your freakish skin. Son, I am proud of you for caring so much as to take your friend shopping." He knelt down to remove the ankle cuffs from the two, both giving a sigh of relief once they were free.

"Father of Dib-Stink?" Zim asked politely, Dib doing a complete 360 from where he was standing so he could get a better look at Zim. He had never spoken in such a tone before… Dib internally groaned. His 'dropping' was about to happen.

"Why yes, child?" Professor Membrane chortled, kneeling down to Zim, adjusting his goggles. Zim cleared his throat after he cast an evil smirk in Dib's direction.

"I am sorry to report to you that the Dib has depleted the monies in your accounts. You are poor now." He said matter of factly. Dib couldn't hide his groan now as he shook his head.

"D-dad, I didn't use up your money! It was Zim! H-he kept giving it away like it was candy. I forgot to mention earlier that Zim's stupid! Ow!" Dib winced as Zim thwacked him upside the head, making the most innocent expression afterward. Professor Membrane remained still, staring blankly ahead. Both boys froze as well, waiting for the verdict.

"What did my son spend it all on?" He asked after a few horrible moments of silence. Dib stared at the floor in defeat as Zim smirked.

"A subscription of magazines you human beasts call 'Playgirl'." He explained, still smiling. Dib was frozen, staring at Zim, hands clenched tightly into fists.

"Oh, you alien scum!!" Dib shouted before tackling Zim to the floor, taking his turn at the whole strangling bit. Zim gasped, trying to shout, but his voice was restricted and garbled, throat closed off by Dib's hands.

"Oh ho, ho, is that all?" Both boys froze as their gazes turned to Professor Membrane, Dib still keeping Zim pinned. "Son, there's nothing to be ashamed of. I honestly am not surprised you would be into Playgirl!" A long, awkward silence ensued.

Zim burst into maniacal laughter, coughing every so often as Dib tried to get him to shut up through more strangulation. Professor Membrane joined in with his warm chuckle, patting Dib and Zim on the head before walking off, back to his lab.

"You sick, disgusting, horrible alien!" Dib shouted in a rhythm, rage filling his face that was about as red as a fire truck. With Professor Membrane out of sight, Zim enabled his spider legs, towering over Dib as he gave a short yell, falling to the ground.

"And so you have dropped, Dibbers," Zim sighed contentedly before continuing. "I may not have won exactly the way I had planned today, but I still established with your meat father that a small amount of… What do you Earth-Filth call it? '…Gayness' is in your system. So, not only are you not believed, you are a lover of men!" He cackled, heading toward the door as Dib groaned.

"I am not gay!" He shouted after Zim who continued laughing all the way down the street, retracting his spider legs eventually. Dib sighed, making sure Zim was fully out of sight before shutting the door. The one thought going through his mind would haunt him for the rest of eternity, gay and non-gay side alike…

_"That color really did look good on Zim…"_

**Ta da! More oneshot madness to come! I won't update as regularly, but I'll try, alright? R&R, all! **

**Invader Oki, out!**


	8. Basically, They're Brothers In Tuxedos

**Alrighty, since I finished my history paper faster than expected, here I am with an update to the oneshots! I was glancing through my 50 Sentence Challenge chapter and chose one I thought would be fun… And something new…**

**It's set in the future… That's all I'm gonna tell ya since I'll be explaining it in the story! Enjoy, all! Oh, and thank you for all the reviews! **

"No, honey, I'm at the house… Yeah huh… No, no, you can't come home yet. I'm fitting my best man with his tuxedo. It may be a while, though… He's not that short, Julie… Be nice…Alright. I'll see you then. Have fun with your friends. I love you."

It would always fascinate Zim to see and hear the Dib when he was talking to his fiancé. The amount of… _love_, Zim inwardly cringed at the word, was unfathomable, or so it seemed. The alien, being unable to feel this fantastic emotion, was obviously not a good judge of what was fathomable or not about it.

But he could tell when he looked at the 25-year-old man who once was his sworn enemy. Zim could see it in the depths of his amber eyes, hidden by the glasses the foolish human couldn't bear to part with. He knew it when Dib spoke to her; the inflections in his voice, the small smile that spread on his face whenever she laughed at one of his jokes. She was the only one that could bring out the soft dimples in his cheeks when he chuckled, and, on the other end of the scale, the ferocity in his gaze and demeanor when she was threatened.

Zim noticed all these things about the human, storing them in his memory and relaying them next to images he held of the Dib back in elementary and junior high skool. Sullen, broken, angry, crestfallen, and unhappy. Zim was shocked by the differences in the mental images. If it wasn't for the glasses, coat, and still-spiked hair, Zim would've assumed the two boys were unrelated.

"Alright, are you finally ready to cooperate?" Dib turned to Zim after dropping the phone back in the cradle, eyes narrowed in annoyance. Zim stood from the barstool, muttering Irken curses under his breath, the only words he had chosen to remember from his previous life.

Dib smirked, glancing down at Zim who had folded his arms apathetically. He knew the Dib was staring at how short he still was. Even through high skool and college, Zim had managed to grow only a few feet to stand at a whopping 5'2'', while Dib was 6'5''. Zim rolled his eyes, walking toward the spacious living room, mumbling, "Let's get this over with…"

"Come on, Zim. It's just a tux. It's not the end of the world." Dib followed the short alien, smirking, hands in his suit pocket. Zim had never been able to fully understand why the boss of his own newspaper had to dress up nice every single day. Dib had explained that it was about making a good impression. Zim had ignored him, as was typical.

"Hey, you never know with me. It_ could_ mean the end of the world." Zim said with a slight amount of menace to his voice. Dib feigned a horrified gasp before smirking.

"Right… says the alien who's been out of invader work for more than 10 years and switched to working for a human worm-baby journalist. You're not even green anymore, Zim. You're not threatening at all." Dib scoffed, referring to Zim's newest chosen disguise… One that actually had ears, a nose, and a human skin tone. He moved toward a comfortable leather recliner, his back to Zim.

A second later, Dib was trapped under two razor sharp mechanical spider legs aimed at his throat.

"Not threatening, eh, Dib-Worm? I think you might want to rephrase that." Zim whispered as Dib gulped audibly.

"P-point taken," He said after his pulse slowed. Zim retracted the weapons back into his Pak with a smirk. "I can't believe I've let you stay here for so long when you go and act like that…" Dib muttered after a moment, adjusting his pale blue tie nervously. Zim shrugged, gaze on the black attire atop the recliner.

"You survived college with me as your roommate, didn't you?" Zim retorted as Dib nodded a vague sort of agreement, reaching for the sleek black tuxedo.

"Enough small talk. Julia will be home soon and you've gotta make sure this is sized right for you." Dib said, smiling slightly as the doorbell rang. "Ah, perfect timing! The tailor is here…" Zim narrowed his eyes at Dib.

"You automatically assume I need a tailor, don't you?" Zim asked icily, scooping up the tux and heading to the bathroom to change out of his button down shirt and causal jeans.

"Well, you're oddly sized, Zim. You're short, skinny, and… Well, your head's big." Dib stifled a chuckle as a shoe was thrown at him from the other room.

"Shut up!" Zim shouted as Dib opened the door, an amused smile on his face that melted into surprise when he viewed the tailor.

"Erm… H-hello." Dib stammered, eyebrows creasing in confusion. "Come in." He murmured, gesturing for the young woman to enter. She smiled brilliant teeth at him, dark lavender hair pulled back into two short, cute pigtails, a measuring tape around her shoulders and a pencil behind her ear.

"Thank you," She said politely, voice crystal clear. "So," She sighed briefly, glancing around, "Are you the one I'm helping out, Dib? Or is Zim still with you?" Realization washed over Dib's face as Zim staggered out, arms lost in huge sleeves.

"Hey… I know you… Don't I?" Zim asked, looking up at Dib for reassurance. He nodded, unable to stop the chuckle from escaping his throat at Zim's ridiculous appearance.

"Yes, Zim. This is Gretchen, remember? From elementary skool till high skool?" Dib said, smiling more. Gretchen did a small wave as Zim looked even more confused.

"Oh, yes! I tested your absorbency and your electrical conductivity that one time…" Zim nodded, half-smiling to himself. "Yep… Those were the days…" Dib stared at the alien, blinking once before gesturing to the living room.

"Well, shall we? Zim doesn't seem to be fitting this tux very well…" Gretchen nodded, taking out a notebook.

"Not surprising. He hasn't grown much since high skool. It's nice to see his skin condition finally got taken care of, though," She commented as Dib nodded. Zim's eye twitched slightly.

"Ahem… Stop talking about me like I'm not here!" He blurted out as Gretchen grinned.

"It's nice to see some things don't change, huh?" Dib grinned with her as Zim remained fuming.

--

"Zim, stop fidgeting! We'd be done if you knew how to cooperate…" Dib muttered, head in his hand ashamedly as he watched the alien grunt and groan over Gretchen's attempts to fix the tuxedo to his disproportionate body.

"Hold… still!" Gretchen echoed Dib's complaints, a pin in her mouth as she measured the length of one of Zim's arms. "Do I honestly have to make room for this backpack? It's ridiculous. Zim, you've had this thing since elementary skool. Can't you take it off for a wedding?" She reached back as if to pull it off. Zim jumped nearly three feet in the air away from her, taking a defensive pose next to Dib who looked equally frightened.

"No." Both men said together, shaking their heads in unison. Gretchen watched them, a confused look on her face before shrugging.

"Alright… I just gotta configure that into the measurements…" She scribbled something down on the legal pad she had brought, muttering to herself. Zim's breathing slowed once more as Dib let out a sigh of relief. The Pak would never be touched. That was a given fact both friends knew.

"Hello…? Is it safe to come in?" A gentle call came from the doorway. Dib's head immediately was turned in that direction, Zim noting the dimples showing up ever so slightly as he smiled. He would never understand love…

"One sec, Julia!" Dib called back, herding Zim to the nearest room to change.

"It's just Zim in a tux! That won't ruin the wedding… I'm the one you're not supposed to see dressed up before it, remember?" Julia was too quick. She had arrived in the room before Zim even had a chance to take the jacket off. She smiled at him, the freckles on her cheeks crinkling slightly. "Very handsome, Zim… I'm impressed."

"What? I, the amazing ZIM, can be handsome when I want to!" He defended himself. Dib inwardly rolled his eyes, knowing some things would never change about the alien. Julia giggled lightly, nodding.

"Oh, I know. Thanks, Gretchen, for helping us out… He'll look much less… comical when you fix the tux up a bit…" She smiled at the other female in the room.

"Oh, it's just my job," Gretchen replied modestly before adding, "Zim, go change. I've got to get started on this tux before the wedding arrives!"

"But the wedding's in four weeks!" Zim countered, eyes narrowing.

"Exactly." Dib said in a serious tone, though the dimpled smile was still on his face. Zim groaned melodramatically before stomping off to the nearest room.

"He really hasn't changed since skool…" Gretchen mused, staring after him. Dib shook his head.

"Not really…" His gaze turned to Julia as he wrapped an arm around her waist, kissing her forehead. Zim reentered the room a few moments later, muttering his Irken curses again. He handed the tuxedo over to Gretchen who took it with a smile, giggling slightly.

"It was nice seeing you again, Dib," She said as the two headed toward the front door, Julia and Zim finding their solace in watching Deal or No Deal on the television.

"You too, Gretchen," Dib replied with a grin, it only widening every time he heard either Julia or Zim shout from the other room, "Case number 4! NO deal, no deal!!"

"I'm glad you've found your own little bit of happiness… That doesn't involve marrying Zim…" She added after a moment, rather sheepishly. Dib's expression fell into a blank sort of shock.

_'Why does everyone think I'm gay?!'_

"Yeah… Thanks for your… input," Dib mumbled, now slightly self-conscious. He didn't find it terribly weird to have gone to college with his once-sworn-enemy-now-best-friend, and then move with him to where they both work at the same place and live together still. He always thought of it as a brother sort of relationship. Apparently it didn't look like that to normal people.

"Anytime," Gretchen giggled, her voice nearly melodic. Dib marveled for a moment at how much she had changed. He wondered for a split second of how she had been in high skool, knowing if she had been like she was know, Dib for sure would've asked her out for pizza sometime. "I'll be by in a few days with Zim's tuxedo." She added before turning away.

"Thank you, Gretchen." Dib called after her, waving. She waved back before he shut the front door, heading toward the family room.

"DIB!" The man jolted, making a 'gulk'ing sort of noise as a rather familiar green dog collided into his chest.

"Hello, GIR…" Dib breathed, shaking his head as he made his way to the couch, plopping down with a sigh in between Julia and Zim, GIR cradled on his lap, quickly falling asleep. He smiled slightly, draping an arm over Julia's shoulders while the group watched T.V.

"So, Zim, when are you gonna get married, huh? Dib and I are waiting," Julia asked during a commercial as GIR fidgeted, snoring, now on the floor at Dib's feet. Zim jerked his head toward the girl, face a mixture of pure shock and annoyance.

"Who, me? The amazing ZIM will never marry anyone on this planet…" He scoffed, turning his attention back to the T.V. Dib smirked, knowing Julia would interpret Zim's reaction as that_ he_ would never be good enough for anyone on Earth, when it was exactly the opposite. Dib knew, if Zim could ever feel compassion, no one on _Earth_ would be good enough for _Zim_.

"Aw, I'm sure you'll find somebody…" Julia sympathized with him exactly the way Dib had predicted. Zim scoffed again, not bothering to glance at her.

The night wore on quickly, everyone soon ready to retire as routine had called for. Zim stood first with a loud groan, stretching. He scooped up GIR, heading for the hallway to go to bed. Even after so many years of wearing a disguise, it always annoyed Zim to have it on for too long. His antennae always needed to breathe after a full day.

Dib stood with Julia, both holding hands as they followed Zim down the hallway lined with paintings and other images. Zim stopped at the first door, yawning and blinking as he stepped in the room, flicking on the light.

"Goodnight, Zim," Dib called as he passed the alien's room. Julia waved as Zim set GIR on the bed, the dog still snoring soundly.

"Yes, goodnight…" Zim replied, drowsiness soon overtaking him. He watched the two walk down the rest of the hallway, ready to turn in for the night. Zim waited, however, until after Dib and Julia had embraced, giving each other a goodnight kiss before retiring. Zim watched the two with awe, just as he had done so many nights prior.

One of these days, he would find out what all the 'love' hubbub was about…

**Mmkay, there it is! I hope it wasn't too long… **

**I guess I should vaguely answer a few questions…Zim basically pronounced himself dead to the Irken race during his senior year of high skool, much to The Tallest's delight. He remained on Earth with GIR and Dib, all three going to college together. Dib met Julia in college, and the two hit it off nearly immediately. She has and always will consider Zim a brother, and GIR a loving pet.**

**Dib made Zim and GIR fully stay in disguise all the time around Julia, not wanting her to know about their alien origin since Zim was supposed to be normal now. Zim does not question Dib's authority, really. He jokes alot like he's gonna reveal himself to Julia, but never really does. He thinks highly of Dib's opinion. Everything's basically great with the group.**

**I honestly don't know why Zim would choose to be normal and hang with Dib, though. Maybe he realized that the Tallest really were jerks and he really was happy on Earth. Or he just matured and found out that fighting with Dib all the time was worthless. They would make better friends anyway… Or something! Let your own mind develop that!**

**I hope I haven't ruined these characters for anyone… I just wanted to give this a try! I'll make sure to write a oneshot with all sorts of 'I hate' -ness between Zim and Dib next. xD**

**R&R, my faithful fans! **

**Invader Oki, out!**


	9. That Damn Tie

It had been 'just an accident,' an 'unforeseen event'. He would 'be dearly missed by all.'

It was a wonder so many other people could say all these piteous things when Dib could say nothing at all about his father.

Maybe it was this simple notion that had brought him to the glowing home, face calm, undefined by what he had to ask his nemesis. Nothing seemed to matter, and Dib knew this was a sign of depression. But, then again, what was there to be depressed about? He never saw his father, never spent time with his father, never really loved his father.

Was Dib really wounded enough by his death to grow apathetic?

He had one hand in his trench coat pocket when he knocked on the door. He pushed his glasses up his nose so he could see a bit better. The sky was a pristine blue, the sun hot and bright, despite just rising into existence a few hours ago. Dib had barely glanced at the clock before setting out that Tuesday morning. He had already called his high skool, and they understood. His father's death had already been all over the news the previous night.

But he knew Zim wouldn't have paid any attention. Dib knew this for a fact when he finally answered his door, yawning and adjusting his spiky-haired wig.

"Yes, yes, what?" He waved his ungloved hand at Dib, rubbing his eyes. He had definitely just woken up, doing the bare minimum to seem approachable by the public. His shoes and gloves were gone, green skin accented by the black boxers and white tee shirt.

"Zim?" Dib said in a casual voice, both hands in his pockets now. Zim opened his eyes before narrowing them.

"What is it, Dib-filth? Are you here to copy my homework before school? You certainly do procrastinate," he scoffed, leaning against his doorframe with another yawn. "Well, you ruined the last twenty minutes I had to slumber, so out with it!"

"Hey, my dad's dead," Dib's tone was even and clear, no hitch at all. "You wanna come to his funeral today, ditch school for a while? I can bring anyone I want."

Zim had only briefly come to understand the importance of funerals to the human race. The topic was broached when he had been pestering Dib about his mother. The two fifteen-year-olds had gone to the graveyard. Zim had never seen Dib more contemplative.

"What?" Zim blurted out, standing up straight and boring holes in Dib's head with his eyes. "What are you asking me, Dib-Worm?"

"Do you wanna come to my dad's funeral? Gaz and me can bring anyone we want, and, well, you're the only person I really talk to besides her. I thought since we had talked about death and stuff a while ago, you were interested in it," Dib shrugged, starting to turn away. "No big deal, I was just wondering."

He was so nonchalant. That's why Zim was dressed and walking down the sidewalk with him in a matter of seconds.

"Dib-stink, what will you and your meat-sister do? Do you have another worm-baby human to look after you?" Zim asked, kicking a pebble into the street. He couldn't look Dib in the eye; there was something so calm about it that unnerved him.

"I'm not sure. I think one of Dad's colleagues'll take care of us, like he's our Godfather or something. I've met him once or twice," Dib shrugged, looking up at the clouds, "He seems pretty nice and stuff."

"Godfather? Eh…?" Zim was confused, but didn't ask about it. Dib's voice didn't sound quite right. He would wait until he felt he was _really_ talking to his enemy.

"Zim, why did you agree to come?" Dib asked when they were back in the Membrane household. It was quiet, as always, but even the Irken soldier picked up on a different kind of silence. "I think it'll disturb the other guests at the funeral if you try and take over the Earth right then and there." Both gave a chuckle, one uncommitted, the other awkward.

"It gets me out of skool, Dibbers. You know how much I hate that filthy institution," Zim said, perching on the teen's spaceship bed, still there, even though Dib had hit a growth spurt and now his feet hung off the end. He watched Dib rummage through his closet with unusually intense interest. "I also… want to see what all the fuss is about funerals."

He stared at the plain black sheets, crumpled and tangled up. Zim was embarrassed, admitting his perverse curiosity with human death. It wasn't something Irkens were used to; their PAKS always alerted them when they could die, unless it was a completely surprise attack. Zim inwardly scoffed at the idea of an Irken being assaulted without previous knowledge of said attack.

"Oh…" Dib said with the first hint of emotion that morning. Zim couldn't pinpoint what emotion it was exactly, but was glad something had changed. "Well, they're really not all that great." He added before pulling out a pair of black pants and a black button up shirt. He tossed them on the bed before looking at a hanger covered in ties.

"Was I supposed to dress morbidly?" Zim asked suddenly, feeling awkward once more in his bright pink shirt.

"No, no, you're fine," Dib waved his hand dismissively in the direction of the alien, still preoccupied with the ties. "I dress morbid all the time, so this really isn't much of a change for me." He gave that same uncommitted chuckle before tossing the hanger on the bed as well, narrowly missing Zim. "Hey, pick a tie for me, okay? I'm gonna go talk to Gaz a minute."

Dib left the room as Zim stared unknowingly at the ties. He found one, under all the others, and plucked it out. A smile lit his face as he set it atop the shirt. The nearly neon green tie completed the outfit quite well, in his opinion.

* * *

"Don't you have to go with your God-filth-father for a while?" Zim asked after the funeral, following Dib down the hillside, stepping on the raised green mounds and the occasional headstone.

Dib stopped and turned, looking at the alien. His eyes narrowed and Zim froze right where he was, on the flat marble monument, surprised at the anger in the teen's eyes.

"Jesus, Zim, watch were you're walking!" he hissed, waving his hands at him, shooing him away from the grave. Zim jumped, standing next to Dib, making sure his elite Irken boots weren't on any other graves.

"What, what?! What am I doing now, Dib-stink?" His voice was panicked, eyes looking at the bottom of his shoes as if checking, making sure no souls were trapped on them. Dib sighed wearily and Zim took this as a good sign; there was emotion there. Exhaustion was better than apathy.

"Nothing… Just… nothing." he muttered, turning and reaching the sidewalk, headed for the graveyard's entrance. Zim followed right behind, eyes narrowed.

"Methinks you're lying." He said with a smirk, touching the back of Dib's tie, the green one he hadn't really looked at when he put it around his neck.

"It's just something my mom told me when I was little," He kept his hands in his slack pockets as he walked, Zim standing beside him, "It's really rude to step on someone else's grave. It's like stepping on someone's toes, you know? Even if you don't mean it, it still hurts."

Zim contemplated for a moment, looking at his own toes. He snickered a little. "But they're dead, and I'm stepping on the grass…" He looked at Dib with an amused expression.

"Never mind…" Dib scowled at the ground, and Zim could finally see how his enemy should've been feeling all day.

He was open in those two words, raw, human. Dib's eyes glazed over, feet still trudging on as he took in a stumbling breath.

"My dad didn't mean to die… But it _does_ still hurt, ya know?" Zim suddenly wondered if he should really be hearing this. Part of him didn't want to at all, out of boredom and awkwardness.

But the other part really thought he should be hearing this. So he listened.

"And yeah, I'm going to have Gaz still, but I don't know this guy who is gonna be taking care of me now. I don't know him at all. I mean, I didn't know my mom before she died, not really, but I knew she was okay. She was my mom, ya know?" Dib's smile was small and pained. "I guess you don't know… You never had parents, did you?"

"No, I had robot arms," Zim said simply, but his face was watching Dib's.

"So you don't really understand what I'm saying at all, do you?" Dib asked, looking down at the alien.

"Not one clue." He gave an unusually characteristic grin, however, hoping that made up for it. He knew he wasn't helping Dib, and, frankly, he didn't really care if he did. But he knew Dib needed something right now. He hoped that smile was enough.

"Yeah, didn't think so…" Dib trailed off, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes. "I didn't really know my dad, either. And he was alive a lot longer than my mom," Dib mused, voice soft and cracking at certain words. "The only things I know a lot about are damn paranormal theories. A lotta good that shit does me, huh?"

Zim hadn't heard Dib curse quite that much before. He blinked in surprise before recovering.

'You know about me, Dibbers. And it's always worthwhile to know things about the amazing ZIM!"

Dib looked his alien enemy in the eye, face blank before a cryptic smile appeared.

"Yeah, I 'spose I do…" he murmured, still wearing the smile as the Membrane home came into view. "Thanks for coming, I hope you had an interesting experience." He walked to his front door, Zim remaining on the sidewalk. He took a pause to look back at the alien, eyes weary.

"Dib-Worm?"

"Yeah, Zim?"

"I er… Don't always mean it when I step on your grave."

Dib took a moment to process this. "You mean my toes?"

"Yes, that."

"So, what you're saying is that, even when you hurt me, you don't always mean it?"

"You don't have to spell it out!" Zim folded his arms and gave an exasperated sigh, looking away from the house. He heard Dib give a more human chuckle.

"Well, thanks, Zim. See you at skool?" He watched the alien nod vigorously before turning to his door. He opened it, shut it, and locked it, hearing Gaz's hushed voice in the kitchen. He walked up the stairs, ignoring her and their new guardian.

He changed into his normal attire, hanging up the green tie last, squishing it in the closet like everything else. He took off his glasses, cleaned them on his navy blue shirt, and paused when he put them back on his nose, looking at the hanger of ties. The neon shone from beneath the other bland fabrics and Dib plucked the hanger up again.

He placed the abhorrent tie before all the others, tucking the hanger carefully back in the closet. He could see the neon green even from the sitting position on his bed, a constant reminder of his enemy.

'_He _had_ to pick out the one tie my dad bought for me,_' he thought, leaning back against his pillow, _'Oh well, it's not like I wear ties very often anyway…'_

**Hey, all! long time, no update, huh? I am sorry about that. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, although it's a tough fresh start. Sorry. x3**

**Review, please? Any oneshot ideas are appreciated, so I don't keep churning out morbid things like this. xD**

**I hope you all don't hate me too much. I'm sorry it's been so long!**

**~Autumn**


End file.
